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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 27 November 2008 08:39 pm |
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oh geez man, i am peeing like a racehorse! I think I am ovulating. (Did you know that when the ovary releases an egg, the empty sac releases a hormone that is a diuretic? It's true!) It's about that time, Day 14, so it's right on schedule. I can always tell when I am ovulating because I am ALWAYS in the bathroom. Man!
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 28 November 2008 01:59 am |
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Okay, so like I am super proud of myself! I had Thanksgiving dinner and I kept it to about 521 calories. I have heard that the average Thanksgiving dinner packs about 3K, so I am very glad that I kept mine so low. This is what I had:
-2 oz. steak with au jus
-green beans with au jus
-glass of chardonnay
-some pecans
I passed up yams, baked potatoes, margarine, rolls, candied apples, pumpkin pie, and cranberry cream cheese jello. YAY!!!!! While my Mom was sitting there complaining that she should have worn bigger pants, I got to sit on my high horse and think
HA!!!!
it was awesome
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 28 November 2008 05:28 am |
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Terabyte wrote: (Did you know that when the ovary releases an egg, the empty sac releases a hormone that is a diuretic? It's true!)
I had no idea, I'll have to watch for this next time! Weigh ins should be on day 15.
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 November 2008 05:40 am |
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Hey, glad you are back. I have been reading up in your diary, but haven't had a chance to reply yet. Busy thanksgiving stuff.
Anyway, about the consort that drank to much, Wow, can I relate to that. Went to a party last night, didn't really know anyone, so I drank and drank, and ate, and ate. You get the picture. But, you know, I really think it was nerves. If your consort was nervous at all about the date, that may be why he over did it. So, I am glad you cut him some slack. Sounds like he really likes you. I just keep thinking that in the long run, you are going to break that poor guys heart, lol. He seems anxious and you seem grounded and know what you want. I don't know, does that make sense. Anyway, that's your deal, have fun with it.
Oh and about the him being cute thing. Yea, that does help to a point, my guess is, that if he continues to do stupid things, then the cuteness will wear off, lol.
I think your plan for getting back on track is a good plan also. Doing what worked for you before, will definitely help you get back to square one....
Oh yea, it is very boring on here when I don't get to read in your diary. You have so much going on in your life and in your head (no offense intended), that I really look forward to reading your diary.....
Anyway, good luck with the new or old plan, which ever it was....lol
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 28 November 2008 05:45 am |
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Oh yea, almost forgot, I am glad you finally made time to write to your aunt. I think it is good to get to know some of your relatives. I was brought up in a kind of weird way of thinking. My family instilled in me that your family is your family and you will always have them no matter what, good or bad, lol. So, if you get more family then that is just all the better. Plus, you may find out some really cool things about your mom that you didn't know. Like things her and her sister use to do together, stuff like that. May even open your eyes some on how you go about doing things, or the way you think and stuff.
Anyway, I think it's all a good thing. 
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 28 November 2008 02:55 pm |
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Cindy: Yeah--I am really happy I wrote to her. She should get the letter by Monday, so I am hoping to hear from her next week. I also showed the pictures of her and my birthmom to my family yesterday at TG, so that was nice to be able to share that with them. Even my Dad participated in it, and he has generally had a lot of trouble with talking about my birth family, he likes to pretend that I was born to him and my Mom. I think it actually helps though that my birthmom is dead and he doesn't have to worry about her taking my Mom Mom's place (you know, Mary, my adoptive mom, the only one I have known...)
The scale this morning had VERY good news for me! Down over 3 pounds since yesterday, for a weigh-in of 149.8! I am telling you, the no white carbs thing paired with MUFAs is a miracle worker! I am definitely going to keep doing that! Wow! Amazing!
I am not sure if I will get down to 147 this week. I guess we'll see. That's about 3 pounds in 2 days. It IS possible! I have done it before!
My friend C. is supposed to take me out to dinner tonight, so I have to think about eating something that is pretty low-calorie. I am trying to even think about what is around here.... maybe some sort of salad or veggie plate or something. I'll have to put some good thought into it. Sometimes I actually really hate going out to eat because it's hard to get something low-calorie. I would rather just have some wine and cheese and apples at home where I control everything. You know? Actually, let me rephrase that--I don't like going out for DINNER. Because by the time dinnertime rolls around, I have usually used up most of my calories for the day, you know? And then, you have to order something that is like 300 - 400 calories and that's sorta hard. Around the middle of the day is usually when I eat the most, so my lunches are generally around 600 - 700, which is a lot easier to manage, you know? So, I guess we'll see..
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 29 November 2008 06:15 pm |
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Jesus, what a cochina. Went out to eat with good old C. and then overate by probably about 800 calories SURPLUS (that is above what I burned). Doh! At least I didn't eat any white carbs. And I also woke up with a killer KILLER sore throat today---oh GOD it hurts!---so I doubt I will be compelled to eat much today, so at least that's good. I can use today to even out yesterday.
Sneaky-Smooth is supposed to come by with some movies to entertain me with. I already told him I wasn't feeling well and my throat hurt really bad. I told him I coudn't talk, so I will probably just text him or something when I want to tell him something when he is here. He said that was fine, and said he found it amusing. But seriously, when your throat hurts, you really don't want to talk, you know?
sheeeshh!!!!!
Oh man. And I am so lazy, I need to take some steps toward getting ready. Maybe I can go floss, that would be a nice start.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 29 November 2008 08:12 pm |
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Phew, okay, now I am showered and refreshed. I did my meditation, saged the apartment, myself, and some other items that needed saging, and now Sneaky-Smooth is on his way over. He is going to show me his favorite movie--12 angry men. I have never seen this movie. I am excited to see it.
:)
I still feel kinda under the weather but that's ok. I have 505 calories left that I can have for the day, but it doesn't mean I HAVE to have them.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 30 November 2008 09:09 pm |
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YES! I did it! I stayed at 1200 calories yesterday. WOO HOO! And I was rewarded with a fine drop in the scale numbers this morning, weighing in at 149.6. The lowest I have ever weighed since I started this was 147.4, so my goal for this week is to hit 147 even (or lower of course).
Had a good time with Sneaky-Smooth yesterday. He did not bring over 12 angry men because it was on his laptop and he couldn't find his adaptor, so oh well. But it was fun anyway. We actually read part of this book together, Be Here Now by Ram Dass. Very interesting stuff. I am going to continue reading it today a bit more before I go out. I am going out again to that free party they throw on Sunset every Sunday. I am going with my top advisor consort who is due over here any minute, so I really want to get in some reading before he gets here.
I have gotten in the habit of taking myself outside of time. I had done it before and really enjoyed it, but then I got out of the habit. But basically being outside of time means that you cover or turn around all your clocks and take the time feature off your cell phone, so you never really know what time it is. Like i don't know what time I went to bed last night nor do i know what time I woke up this morning. It's pretty cool. I mean yes I do have one cell phone, my work phone, that tells the time, and I use that with an alarm set on it so that I don't miss work-related appointments, but other than that, I like not knowing what time it is.
I had an interesting thought this morning--not sure if I can explain it really well, but I think it was inspired by that Baba Ram Dass book. But anyway, I was walking from room to room getting ready for the day and I thought to myself that every moment we have is truly unique. Like, even if we were to pace back and forth across a room, the path that we travel isn't even the same path back and forth because our cells are continuously degrading and then replacing themselves and our consciousness is constantly shifting. So it could actually be said that it IS a slightly different person that walked into the kitchen than that walked out of it. That the path is continuously unfurling and we are never in the same place twice because we are in a constant state of flux both physically and mentally. I thought that was really interesting and cool. It gave me a sense of peace and surreality to think that. Good times, good times!
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 30 November 2008 10:13 pm |
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You know thats funny that you say that about the time thing. Reminds me of when we go up north. Nobody up there knows what time it is, nor do they care. It's really kind of nice and relaxing when we are there. Cause time is not a factor, it's just do as you please when you please.
You must be feeling better, I didn't here you complain once about being under the weather.
Anyway, congrats on the scale reading. It's always nice to see results for our efforts.
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 30 November 2008 10:44 pm |
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i wrote you this great post... and my stupid mouse ate it...
anyway. the whole concept of neglecting time (and i use that word on purpose) is really cool to me. by nature, i am not a clock watcher- i was turned into one once upon a time (but i will save that for later). so any efforts to not be a slave to the ticking moments feels right to me. i think it lets you get more.... in tune...
it's neat that you write about the singular moments. i've actually been thinking about that idea.. what you worte, to me, it translates into focusing on the "now". each moment is quite differnt. what we think is routine is actually the furthest thing from it... it's a wholenew action and our thoughts are new intterpretations. all of these little changes within us aren't really noticed, but the do add up. we only notice them when the equation comes out to be something entirly different and somewhat... removed... lol- it's like we weren't paying attention to the time that had elapsed. neat.
anyway, hope that makes sense. i still see circles in it.
and i would tell you to have a good time tonight, but i gather that you are the sort of person htat always has a good time, in your own way
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 1 December 2008 05:08 pm |
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Yeah, I totally forgot I was sick that one day Cindy! LOL! I woke up feeling totally great the next day. That is funny that you had to remind me that I was sick! But it's funny AND great! I gargled with apple cider vinegar a bunch on the day my throat started hurting. About 4 - 5 times throughout the day. I got that from my Jamaican room-mate, he's all into home remedies for everything. Basically the acid in the apple cider vinegar completely kills whatever the bug is in your throat and I have wiped out strep with it in about 36 hours, and mind you that's without antibiotics or anything. I would highly recommend it! You just gargle with it and either spit it out or swallow it. You CAN dilute it, but I just do it straight up. If you do swallow it in about 2 - 3 seconds after you swallow it you feel really hot and your face gets red for a second but then you're fine. It feels kind of neat if you like intense sensations!
Anyway, yes the party yesterday was great and my top advisor consort was totally cool and attentive and we had a great time. He gave me a really nice compliment while we were out, telling me that I really lit up a room and made everyone feel comfortable. I thought that was really cool. I hope I make people feel comfortable since being a social worker is my profession!
Another interesting thing that happened yesterday, and made me think---I was ordering some sage and incense from this website called The Magick Moon, and when I went to fill out my address, the default addy was in Belleville, illinois. Now what is so weird about that is that that is the place where my mother's body was found. I unexpectedly got choked up when I saw that and then a few tears formed. I found out about my birthmother's murder a while ago, but it always felt sort of surreal, it hadn't really hit me. I have been told that I have an "incubation period" wherein I learn about something and I don't have a reaction until later on down the line instead of an immediate reaction. But it really just made me really sad to think of that poor young woman, the woman who gave me life, having such a hard life. I mean, she was abused by her family (and word is that my father is probably also my grandfather, so do the math and you can see that she had a rough life) and then had such a hard life afterwards, ending up being strangled and mutilated by some crazy cop. I looked at a picture of her that I have and I thought WOW, such horrible things to happen to somebody. And for no real rhyme or reason....
The woman who knew my birthmother said that once she found out she was pregnant, she was very happy. She said that she wanted to give her baby a great life, that they were going to be a great team. And while I did end up having a great life, thanks to Santa Clara County Social Services and my wonderful adoptive family, I never did get to be a team with my birthmother and she met with such a bad end herself after so much suffering while she was alive. I feel so lucky that things turned out for me so well. When I passed my LCSW exam (part one) I remember thinking that my birthmother would have been proud. And it also made me think wow, I am in the profession that helps people who were not only like ME with moms who can't take care of them, but also for people like my MOM who had horrible, abusive families. And I picked this profession without knowing any of that stuff about her.
Anyway, it was a very deep and powerful feeling that I felt when I saw that
Belleville Illinois
But I guess all in all it was a good and grateful feeling but also with a feeling of sadness and loss for my birthmother. I hope in some way or other she is at peace and can feel proud that her daughter is having the life she wanted for her....
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 1 December 2008 05:22 pm |
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| LOL! Attached Image (viewed 160 times):
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 1 December 2008 06:10 pm |
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Wow, what a mood switch. You go from talking all deep and stuff, to a funny picture, lol. That's what I like about you.
Anyway, yea, I have heard great things about the apple cider vinegar, but have never tried it. I remember reading about it on the internet somewhere. Next time we get the sore throat thing, I think I will give it a try...
Glad your all better and didn't have to stress about it.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 1 December 2008 06:18 pm |
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well, i don't really dwell too long on things, my mind is like a hummingbird, going from one thought-flower to the next. And speaking of thought-flowers, I need to do my morning meditation. I SKIPPED MY EVENING MEDITATION LAST NIGHT! ARGH!
But I thought that picture was TOO funny! It had me laughing for a really long time!
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 1 December 2008 07:24 pm |
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ahhh, wow that felt great! I just did like 10 minutes of free form yoga combined with resistance aspects and it feels SUPER! I would highly recommend it. I wonder how many calories that burned.... let me go see... 24 calories, not bad! And it felt so good. I have always been a fan of the slow, controlled movement, exercises, like yoga, tai chi, doing resistance exercises really slow. It makes me feel like a machine, but like a divine machine. very cool! Well, I gotta get off to work. I feel fantastic!
I just told my ethereal consort about the frog squats. He says he is going to start doing them. I am so glad you showed me that, Dani, I really dig them a lot.
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wolfmonk
New Member
| Joined: | 21 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 244 |
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Posted: 1 December 2008 09:36 pm |
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Following your fine example I've been trying to do meditation (breathing meditation) in the evenings - just concentrating on my breath - but I don't think I'm having much luck. I can't get my mind to STF Up. Blah blah blah - it goes on and on. And then starts again.
It is pretty cool that you picked the career that you did - I'll bet your birth mother would be proud that you're helping people - I'll bet your adoptive parents are too!
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 2 December 2008 02:42 am |
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It is hard to get your mind to stop chattering, but that's normal. Whenever you notice your mind start to wander, just gently come back to focusing on your breathing. Sometimes it helps to have a mantra too that you repeat, something simple and affirming like
i am relaxed
i am happy
life is beautiful
or whatever, and to actually speak it loud, that helps to keep your mind at least focused on a sinfular point instead of darting around. But yeah, it took me a while, probably a good year or more before I felt like I was able to calm my mind! so don't give up, just keep doing it!
it feels good, and it's relaxing, it's like a nice little mental vacation.
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 December 2008 03:01 am |
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Terabyte wrote: But I guess all in all it was a good and grateful feeling but also with a feeling of sadness and loss for my birthmother. I hope in some way or other she is at peace and can feel proud that her daughter is having the life she wanted for her....
I am sure she would be proud of what you've achieved and that fact that you are a strong, confident, and successful woman. It would be what she wanted for you.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 2 December 2008 03:06 am |
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thank you, molly that was sweet, and yeah, I think so. I mean, that's what most every mother wants for her children, I think! (unless she's bananas!)
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 December 2008 12:12 pm |
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| I have to laugh when I read this! About 2 pages of posts on Straylights diary, but none of them are from Straylight! Ha Ha! Wonder where she is anyhow.....
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 2 December 2008 11:00 pm |
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Haha, Danimae.... Terabyte is Straylight... she just changed her name 
That would have been very funny though
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 3 December 2008 01:00 am |
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Ok, going to try this again. I wrote you a nice post and then it was gone.....ugh!
Anyway, I was asking you about meditation. I am thinking about doing that and was wondering what it is that you do or any advise on it, before I start this thing.
Of course my first post was much longer, but this pretty much sums up what I wanted to know, lol.
So, let me know what you think....
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zenobia
Moderator
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Posted: 3 December 2008 07:01 am |
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hey cport- i'm considering going along the same path! if i find anything, i'll share, if you do the same!
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DaniMae1
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 3 December 2008 11:58 am |
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| Well that explains a lot!
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wolfmonk
New Member
| Joined: | 21 September 2008 |
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| Posts: | 244 |
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Posted: 6 December 2008 06:37 am |
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Um. Hello?
Have you left us again?
Have you taken another nom de diet guerre?
Donde esta?
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 6 December 2008 12:39 pm |
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Yea, I wonder what she is off doing now. Maybe she got a new consort, that swept her off her feet and whisked her off to fairly land. lol
#%@&!, who knows, she's probably just busy working or something.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 7 December 2008 06:10 pm |
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If you are looking to start meditating, I can just tell you what has worked for me. Set aside a time, a fairly short time, like five minutes to begin with and just pick a position that you think is comfortable--lying on your back, on your stomach, the lotus position, whatever you like--and set an alarm. You will gradually increase your time in little increments, but most people can do 5 minutes in the beginning. Remember to close your eyes when you are meditating.
A good place to start is just by focusing on your breath. Take a few really deep breaths to clear yourself when you first start and then just breathe and concentrate on your breathing. It is almost surely inevitable that you will find your mind starting to wander, random thoughts will come, you might find yourself starting to worry or plan or just plain mind-chatter will occur. This is TOTALLY NORMAL and bound to happen. As soon as you notice it happening, just bring your mind back to your breathing. If it wanders off again, like it will, just keep bringing it back. And bring it back nicely, don't scold yourself, just notice that your mind is wandering and nicely and gently bring it back to your breathing. It is helpful to sometimes imagine yourself breathing in all sorts of goodness and energy and then with your out breath, imagine dispersing all that goodness and energy throughout your body. I would say to start out with that. Then, when the alarm goes off, exhale and open your eyes. I always feel like I am returning from somewhere when I exhale and open my eyes. It feels good. Perhaps you will experience this feeling too, but if you don't, it doesn't matter. It doesn't mean it didn't work.
The best time to do meditation is in the morning, because it will set your mind for the day. It is also good to do it in the evening too, but if you can only do it once, do it in the morning.
Do the five minute meditation for a while, maybe a week, and then you will find that it gets easier and easier. Just make sure you consistently do it daily. (Also, starting with five minutes makes your more likely to stick to it because five minutes is a very short, manageable amount of time). Then, go ahead and add a minute onto your time, so you'll then be doing six minutes.
*note*** sometimes I have noticed that when you are in the lotus position and you are meditating, you will feel like you are slowly swaying. This happens to a lot of people, and if it happens to you, just relax and don't fight it. I like it, I think it feels like I am floating in water. Any movement that your body wants to do involuntarily while you are meditating, just let the body do it. It will feel good. As long as you don't freak out or get scared about it. I don't know what causes it, but I have heard lots of meditators that it happens. Some people say it has to do with being locked into Shakti energy (which is supposedly a goddess that resides at the base of our spines) and some people say it has to do with getting in the groove of the ebb and flow of energy all around us, and some people say it has to do with what your muscles naturally do when your mind is relaxed, and still others say they have no idea what it is. I mean really we don't have any idea what is, we are all just guessing. But the main point is to go with it if it happens. And if it DOESN'T happen, it doesn't mean you aren't doing the meditation right or you aren't going as deep or whatever. It doesn't happen to everyone.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 7 December 2008 06:36 pm |
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I just did a 5-minute breathing meditation (because it's been a while since I have done that duration and that focus) just to see what it was like again and so I could experience the act I am advising, and it feels REALLY good! I felt a little smirky smile on my face the whole time, and it was amazing. I felt compelled to say a few statements, so I did. They were simple. So, my advice is, if you feel compelled to speak while you are meditating, do it! What I felt like saying was things like
this feels perfect
everything is perfect
i have everything
i am surrounded by love
this feels fantastic
(and so forth)
It felt good to say it! So if you feel moved to say something positive and affirming while you are meditating, go for it.
Then I had this major urge to do this one exercise right afterward, so I went with it, and that felt great too. I don't know if I have mentioned this exercise before, but it's a total godsend, because it is a total-body resistance training exercise, and it's really easy to do... what you do is, take a dumbbell, nothing too heavy, something manageable, and lie down, holding the dumbbell up in the air in a perpendicular line to your body lying flat on the ground.
Then, keeping your arm outstretched, holding the dumbbell at about a right angle to body the whole time, just get up from lying down and stand up and then get back down into lying down again.
Then switch the dumbbell to the other hand and do it again. Then switch it back and do it again. (I did 13 reps).
I don't know what the exercise is called, my friend's trainer recommended it to him, and my friend taught it to me. I just love it because it works out everything--upper body, lower body, and core in ONE exercise. Lots of results for the time you put in. Straight economics! Gotta love it!
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 8 December 2008 02:38 am |
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Hey Thanks, Straylight. You know that is just what I did. I just tried to focus on my breathing and when my mind would wonder, I would start to concentrate on my breathing again.
When I did the lotus position, I did the swaying thing. I thought I was falling asleep and it kind of startled me. Then I had to start all over again, cause I totally lost focus.
Oh, and the eyes, I thought you were suppose to keep them open. Which I struggled with allot. So, glad to know I don't have to do that. I also wouldn't mind trying some sort of yoga/meditation. I get so relaxed when I am doing the stretches with richard at the end of one of my tapes. So, I think I could really get into that.
Anyway, glad you stopped in to hand me some advise....
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 10 December 2008 10:26 pm |
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So, I guess your not coming on here anymore...  What a bummer...
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 12 December 2008 04:04 pm |
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No, i am still coming on here, but about 4 days out of the week, I am at my Loma Linda house and I don't have Internet access there. I also don't like to post on this site at work, so my time here has been cut in a little more than half. But I still do come on reguarly, just not as much. Thanks for missing me though!
That's a great new pic by the way, Cindy, you look super-fine! 20 years younger than that last pic! Seriously!
My eating has been fantastic these last few days (since Monday, basically). I went back to cutting out white carbs after, shall we say, indulging in them WAY too much, and it has been great! I can't believe I ever went back on them. I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I am not eating white carbs. It is absolutely amazing the change in mood I feel. I mean, seriously, literally, I feel like I am on some premium drugs or something, just super happy, super energetic, with this underlying calm contentedeness running through everything. I think I said one time earlier on here that it's sort of like being on Ecstacy and Vicodin but with none of the bad side/after effects. It's great! This surely must be what people talk about when they speak of "natural highs."
And besides my mood, my body has been thanking me with nice results. I have a pair of work pants that are really starting to get loose now, and that feels good! I think they are a size 9... so i am probably about ready for a size 8!
Oh yes, and I have also been making sure I have a MUFA with every meal.
Yesterday at work I was really proud of myself too, because our office won a free lunch from Mi Tortilla, which is a Mexican place, and these huge platters of quesadilla and nachos were brought in. Everyone indulged in the food except for me. Believe me, brothers and sisters, I felt tempted but I was able to resist and just think about how good I had been for the last few days, how much I didn't want to ruin it, and I did not have one nacho or one bite of quesadilla. YAY!!!!! That felt really good!
Let's see, what else has happened in the last few days that is noteworthy.... well, I have a cool exciting date with my top advisor consort tonight. Probably going to drink lots of wine, so I need to make sure I take that into consideration when I eat throughout the day today. I also have another date with the Blue-Eyed Jew on Sunday, which is my free food day, so I am thinking we can go to a nice, classy, romantic Italian place by my house. Or Japanese... MMMMM... tempura (homer drool).
On Saturday, I am going to a Christmas party that my friend is throwing, so again, probably lots of wine there too. (I learned my lesson with vodka the LAST time I was over at my friend's house. I probably won't touch any more vodka. I think I developed an aversion to it after that experience. Well, straight vodka anyway, not in a mixed drink. Actually, now that I think about it, the sickest I ever got from drinking was always from vodka...)
Work is going great, too. I got two new girls on my caseload this week, a shy little Latina girl who is 7 and a very talkative and hilarious White chick who is 15. It is great to be back just doing work with the kids and families and not having to worry about marketing and recruitment. Hooray!
The Loma Linda housing arrangement is working out pretty good with the Jamaican shaman. He has made it clear that he is really attracted to me, so I am trying to make sure I don't let anything get out-of-hand because he is basically my room-mate and I don't want him to get any ideas or think that our arrangement is going to get romantic because it NEVER WILL, I know better than to start screwing around with a room-mate and plus on top of all that, I am so TOTALLY not sexually attracted to him at all, really the thought of being intimate with him or even kissing him gives me the dry heaves, lol.
I have been doing bits of strength training and yoga throughout my day, it feels good to do it like that, in small increments I think. There is a certain focus and clarity of mind that comes when you are exercising, it actually is sort of like zennish meditation because you are so focused on a main point and physical sensations . I like to bring my mind back to that throughout the day. Also, I am more likely to exercise daily when I do small bits of exercise scattered throughout the day than to have one larger workout, because the little bits are so easy to just do quickly and take a break from work or whatever, but if it's all condensed it seems more daunting and then I am more likely to skip it.
And speaking of little bits of exercise, I am feeling the urge to do some frog squats right now!
Whew! Those felt good. 7 of them. Sheesh, I really need to do them every day, I lose strength if I go too long between them. I know that people say you can't work muscle groups every day, but I have noticed that if I do, I build up strength quickly. So maybe my muscles are an aomoly.
And speaking of resistance training, I can now do 6 regular push-ups! This is great! I used to barely be able to do one!
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 12 December 2008 05:10 pm |
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Thanks about the pic. That was nice to hear. And Yes! I am glad you are back. I really enjoy reading your diary. Plus, your so upbeat, you always put me in a good mood.
I'm glad your living arrangement is working out, but sad you don't get to come here very often anymore.
Although you didn't miss much. I think the only thing that's been going on here, is this one person getting banned from the site. Some chick, I guess. lol, I thought it was a man. But, anyway, she was on here getting everyone all worked up. Nir sent her away. Otherwise, it's been the same old, same old.
Well, got to go, I am doing Christmans Decorations today...
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 12 December 2008 06:56 pm |
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yes, i just got back from getting my nails done. They are bright blue. Who was it that got banned? That one person that said everyone should be a fat glutton?
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MidgeH
Senior Member
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Posted: 12 December 2008 07:00 pm |
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I love primary colros for nails. Maybe the person was banned, maybe not. My thought is that it was the same person as the gluttony person (same cant, same #%@&!ry way of speaking to people, new divisive tactic) just under a new name.
Looks like they might still be here. I avoid it because it just harshes my mellow (throw out to you s.cal girl!).
Last edited on 12 December 2008 07:01 pm by MidgeH
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 15 December 2008 06:14 pm |
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haha, harshes my mellow, that's hilarious! I actually have never heard that one before, but I like it. I have said
you're harshing my buzz
that's a good one too
anyway, my date with my top advisor consort went really well, was lots of fun, felt pretty far out the whole time.
And THIS is hilarious, check this out:
There was this dude that I had like 3 dates with that I decided I really didn't like and didn't want to keep seeing, so I told him so last weekend. And then sometime during the week last week, he texts me and says
"are we still friends?"
So I just replied "yes" and left it at that. I mean, I don't hate the guy, I just definitely don't want to go on another date with him. So, he texted me back a few more times that night, but I ignored his texts because I was busy hanging out with the shaman and also keeping up with my other consorts, my family, chickfriends, etc. So anyway, on Friday during the day, he texts me and he says
"let's do something fun tonight."
And I reply back that I have a date and that I can't. And so then I go on my date and i don't check my phone for the rest of the night because I am on a date and also, generally I always keep my phone on silent and then I check my messages when I want to. That way nothing interrupts my immediate experience, not even the ring or the vibrate buzzz or whatever, right.
So, the next morning, I check my phone and I see that I have a missed call from this dude at about 11:00pm from the night before and he has also sent me a text around 9:00am asking me if I am awake. I don't return any communications from him because I am still on my date and then in the middle of the day, I check my phone again and I have another missed call from him around noon. So, I text him and I tell him that my date has been extended and I won't be seeing him today and I also tell him I have another date tomorrow so I won't see him this weekend at all.
And then he texts back (and this is the super hilarious part ladies and gentlemen...) this really long text that says
"oh yeah well I have had two dates too since Friday, and as a matter of fact I am sitting on her couch right now, and she is beautiful and she gives me lots of kisses and she is going to help me get my clothing line off the ground, so I don't care that you can't see me this weekend."
LOL!!!!
RIGHT!!! If you were on such a hot date with some chick who is all over you, then how is it that you have the time OR even the desire to call me and text me all through the day and night? It was awesome. I just thought
man!
if you're going to lie and try to be smooth, you need to make it BELIEVABLE. Sheesh! He needs lessons!
In other news, my date with the Blue-Eyed Jew was also very fun yesterday. He was looking superfly and we had a really fun time. He gives a good back massage (lol, and a good front massage too!)
And yesterday was my free day, and I definitely enjoyed myself after a week of no white carbs (well 6 days more like...) I had pizza and ice cream and chips and a candy bar and some green tea. But it's back to no carbs today, and I already finished my breakfast of raw almonds (120 calories). I invented this avocando cheese dish that is absolutely delish so I think I am going to have that for lunch once I get to the office.
It's raining a lot here, so I have to leave superearly for the office to make sure I have enough time to drive slowly and carefully. (The commute is usually about 70 minutes from my hollywood home, so I think I am going to give myself at least 2 hours just to be on the safe side!)
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 15 December 2008 06:30 pm |
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lol, that is funny about the ex consort. You would of thought he could of come up with something better than that. Well, maybe he will lay off the text/calling thing now. 
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 15 December 2008 06:56 pm |
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no way, i want him to keep making a fool out of himself for my entertainment and the entertainment of all my friends here at CPH.
I thought about sending him a text that says
"well seth green and zac chia are over here having a fistfight over who gets to massage my feet. They already knocked out Gael Garcia Bernal."
AND Pedro Aldomovar called this morning and told me that he thinks I am turning him straight.
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 15 December 2008 10:33 pm |
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lol, shame on you.... 
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 16 December 2008 09:19 pm |
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| Everytime I look your diary grows another page! For some reason that little arrow that marks when your page has been added to wasn't working, so I haven't read up on you in a while. Looks like you're doin well though! I couldn't find your weight anywhere, but I see you can do 6 push-ups! That's great! You've multiplied your strength by 6!
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
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| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 17 December 2008 02:29 am |
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My weight has been hanging out around 150 and my body fat around 32%, but my clothes are fitting much looser so that's what I am going by. My workpants today are REALLY starting to get baggy-saggy so that's awesome!
Today, I did eat some white carbs, but I have about 1540 in which I know is a good deficit.
I can now also do 7 push-ups, so I am very proud of that, and I can hold an inversion for 7 breaths, which is also great. I need to get back on track with my frog squats though, I think I can do about 10. Actually, let me check right now...okay, so it's 11. woo hoo!
I do like entering stuff on fitday and seeing how big my deficit is, that is always fun.
Today I ate the following
1) one key lime cookie from Starbucks, 26 calories
2) one twinkie, 150 calories
3) one mushroom swiss burger, 710 calories
4) one regular order of french fries with tapatio sauce, 400 calories
5) a small glass of red wine, 100 calories
6) one cup of black tea, 0 calories
7) handful of raw almonds, 120 calories
I didn't eat much fruit/veggies, the only ones I had were the ones on the burger (lettice, tomato). I need to make sure I eat more fruits/veggies tomorrow. Oh, does wine count as a fruit? lol, probably not!!! But that is still a good deficit. I am interested to see how big a one it is.... let me see....
okay, about a 330 deficit. Pretty sweet!
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StuckSara
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 17 December 2008 03:15 am |
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| Oh that's awesome! I love when my pants get loose. But then it looks like I dropped a load in them!
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 17 December 2008 04:26 am |
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| I agree, nothing like having saggy pants, to boost your ego...
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 17 December 2008 04:17 pm |
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haha, you girls are funny! It does sorta look like I dropped a load in them I guess but it's definitely worth it to know that I have shrunk that much, you know? It's a good trade-off, I think!
I have decided that I am going to go shopping for new clothes once I have built up a calorie deficit of 17,500 calories (that comes out to 5 pounds lost). I am going by a calorie deficit because I do resistance training and my actual scale weight might not drop even with this deficit since I am putting on muscle. And I KNOW my stupid scale is supposed to measure body fat too, but I seriously don't think it's accurate because it has shown me at the same weight and body fat for a month or so now but my clothes fit totally differently than they did a month ago. So I am just going to go with the straight biomath and reward myself with new clothes once I have the 17.5K deficit. Starting yesterday, I had a deficit of about 300. So, I have 17,200 calories to go!
BUT!!!
IF the scale does drop to 145 lbs before I have completed the deficit, I will count that as well. So, it's basically, the biomath result or the scale result, whichever comes first.
:)
And at least for right now, I am not going to do the no-white-carb thing. I am going to eat white carbs when I want to. And I am just going to make sure I have a deficit every day. So I won't have any "free days" or "strict days" or whatever. I will just eat what I want, paying attention to healthy foods (but not restricting myself to only healthy foods) and I will make sure I have a deficit every day. That's the new plan!
I weighed myself this morning too and it said 150.8, which is not really much of a change. Like I said, it's bounced around between 149 - 154 for the last month.
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 18 December 2008 04:07 pm |
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Okay, so for yesterday, I had about 1685 calories in and 1995 calories out for a deficit of 320. Add that to my deficit of
300 yesterday
for a total deficit of 620 calories in two days.
This leaves a deficit of 16,880 before I can go buy more clothes. Woo hoo!
Now, the scale this morning said that I weighed 150.2, with a body fat percentage of 32%. That is a drop in total weight of .6 pounds since yesterday, with a drop in fat weight of .8 pounds, so that is looking pretty good as well. The biomath AND the raw numbers are good today! Yay!
Now yesterday, this is what I had to eat:
- two cups of green tea, 0 calories
-one cherry cordial candy, 75 calories
-Chicken Katsu Mini-Meal from Ono Hawaiian Barbecue that included breaded fried chicken, macaroni salad, rice, and cabbage with red rooster sauce, 1300 calories
-some Cinnamon toast crunch cereal, dry, 130 calories
-two green olives, 40 calories
Today is the office lunch (that we pay for ourselves for christ's sake, how stupid) at Claim Jumper, so I will have to work on controlling myself there! Everything there is pretty high calorie, I am thinking I should probably have a salad, which is still going to be higher in calories, but I need the roughage, I haven't been eating too many fruits or veggies the past two days, just the cabbage in lunch yesterday, that was it!!!!
But I WAS very good at the office Christmas party we had, there was tons of cookies, chips, fried chicken, deviled eggs, hot chocolate, etc., and all I had was the one cherry cordial, so I was pretty pleased with my restraint, because I could have easily EASILY had a way-big calorie surplus yesterday instead of a deficit!
I was also very happy that my top advisor consort invited me over this weekend again. I LOVE his house--he has a pool and Tivo and a sweet balcony and of course, I love his company as well.
And I am hanging out with my friend to go see that movie Milk this weekend too, and Sunday there is a free party by my place that I am going to go to with my ninja consort. So, yay!
I also think I am going to buy the Wii Fit. My friend is selling one for $370, and I think that will be my Xmas present to myself. Hooray! I will be paying for it on Friday after I gets paid.... :)
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mollymoo24
Distinguished Member
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Posted: 19 December 2008 02:38 am |
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Terabyte wrote: This leaves a deficit of 16,880 before I can go buy more clothes. Woo hoo!
I like this way of looking at it!
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 19 December 2008 04:17 am |
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thanks!
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cportwine
Senior Member
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Posted: 19 December 2008 04:23 am |
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| Yea, new cloths are always a motivator. I love to shop, so it always works for me....
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Terabyte
New Member
| Joined: | 18 November 2008 |
| Location: | |
| Posts: | 299 |
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Posted: 19 December 2008 04:56 pm |
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| Okay, yesterday was a break-even day as far as calories go. 1900 in and out! So, I still need to create a deficit of about 16,880 until I can buy some new clothes. But my clothes are definitely getting way baggy. A comrade of mine who hasn't seen me in a few months commented yesterday that she could really tell I was losing weight because my clothes were so loose. | | |
